“Stronger” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I suppose being weightlifter gives you some insight into personal strength and where it really comes from.  Physical strength building is easy to conceive, harder to execute because it requires a long term commitment and routine.  In my opinion, it takes much more versatility to think in terms of strength than endurance.  Endurance for me has always been a matter of the will or persevering through it.  Strength requires looking at every angle and figuring out every single aspect of yourself that needs to be trained to get stronger.

In weightlifting, this means you can’t just work one muscle to get stronger.  A deadlift is a good example requires as it requires the entire leg muscles, the lower back and a little of the rest as far as to pull.  Support lifts that strengthen these areas individually are required so when you do them as a whole you have overall strength improvement.

Strength of mind, heart, and spirit are much the same, there isn’t just one thing to it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

I really need to look at things in am ore disciplined manner andperhaps it is time to apply a little minimalism to the whole of my life and eliminate some things I do so I can be more disciplined on a smaller group of things. Refocusing my time on writing and reading seems like a good place to start.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Getting up is no problem, training to be strong so you don’t get knocked down in the first place is its own form of perseverance. I need to work on that.

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

GoalCelebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Being loyal, I ask sometimes what that means.  It is a simple principle to be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.  The real circular problem is being loyal to myself so I can be loyal to myself.  I don’t know all the repercussions of that, but I am thinking about it.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

I need to focus on simple strengths.  I need the wisdom of making things minimal and simple again.  Time to pair down things in my life a bit to make room for the things that build strength.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 4

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

Well, number four is added with the blog reaching a year old.  That is four since I started this journey and three since April 1st.  There are six left from now until March 31st.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“One Year – Made it” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

The moment this post goes active, there will be a WordPress notification that tells me this is a streak of 365 days – 1 year.  Tomorrow will be the one-year birthday celebration and I will talk about that in more detail then.  But for today, I want to take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that a finish line was crossed.  Something I set out to do was completed and quite frankly right now I could use the win.

In the ‘A Skald’s Life’ posts this week I will be focusing on the principles of each virtue.  The virtue is the idea, the principle is the beginning plan of action to make it happen. A guiding idea that takes each virtue and puts it into practice.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

GoalMaintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Honor is one of the most tricky virtues of them all. I have worked hard to shuck off the past and live in the present moment. One can only take one’s honor at the present moment and build it and that comes from a sense of personal pride. I still struggle here for myself but note people who are honorable and people who are not.

Goal achieved today.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

What specifically is the right thing to do is often self-evident for me.  The tricky part is to act on it at the right time. If there is one specific thing that happened recently it was to take the plunge and be a writer first and whatever second.  That said now finding a better job may be in focus, but given the situation at my current work, I just don’t feel that is my avenue to find a better job.  Time to search for something better with more energy and act with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I am not sure honesty serves me well in all things, but I guess given my personality I would rather fail and maintain truth than succeed with a lie. My personality would never see this as a liability as INFJs are idealistic as fuck and here I am. I find myself quiet a lot these days.  I simply don’t think most of humanity is ready for the truth because it is uncomfortable. I would rather stay quiet than engage the comforting lies most people tell themselves.

Higher Virtue: Love:

The struggle between the love of myself and the love of others continues. The warnings I have gotten from studying my personality and my counselors over the years echo in my head – ‘You need to remember to take care of yourself. It’s something you are going to struggle with, so remember to do it.”  Yeah, I know.  I just keep running into a wall about it.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Better, but needs to be complete.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Routine Rewrite”- A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Yeah. I am rewriting my routines again.   Mostly I am trying to make writing more central and along with that reading. This means shifting some things or resigning myself to the fact that days I work don’t have a lot of free time and that is OK.  I am working toward being a published writer and a solid secondary job that allows some progress toward my other goals.

My good report on my health is no cause to rest on my laurels.  I still don’t have a ‘normal’ A1c and I would like to get there. Exercise and nutrition are still central to this so we continue.  Some changes are needed as far as diet and getting back to walking more regularly before the snow flies, and that is all part of my routine as well.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To be following a full paleo diet I need to do a couple more things.  One is to eliminate all liquids that are not water and two get rid of dairy products.  The first means slowly making sure I drink less and less of other things and put more water into my routine instead. The second is a bit harder, I like cheese and cheese has no carbs.  But I must see if full Paleo has solid effects before I modify it with say some Keto elements.

Another thing I am returning to is intermittent fasting.  Mostly from the time I get up until lunchtime.  I skip breakfast and any early snacking.

My cheats on this are to allow one thing I am craving a day and two cheat meals a week which are basically an hour slot of time where I can eat what I want to eat and drink what I want to drink.  Part for social reasons but also it’s nice to get off script every now and then.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Weightlifting is doing well, but I need to walk more. Fall colors will be out soon and that is not something I want to miss as it is my favorite season.  But also this might be the little bit more that I need to get truly leaned out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Goal achieved here.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Being wise right now is key.  Balance and focus are all important and I need to order my life more effectively so that the things I do each day lead to my eventual success. The best course of action every day is what I am looking for now.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Of all my routines, this one will probably change the least.  This one is more about execution.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“An Important Singular Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I look through all my goals, there is one of them that seems to rise to the top.  A singular goal that is very important – finding a new and better paying job.  This is the reason as a man in his late 40s I went back to school and got another degree.  I now have that degree in hand but not a new job. Yet.

No matter how frustrated I get on this issue I attempt to move forward one step at a time.  The most frustrating thing for me is landing an interview. Once that happens my odds go up tremendously because I can sell myself in person pretty well.

Once I have the new job a lot more things will open up for me.  Other goals will be much more easy to attain.  It comes down to putting the best effort I can toward this goal while at the same time keeping the identity of being a writer first and whatever second.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

‘By September 2019″ might be very difficult now. But it does show how frustrating this search has been and for how long – since January of this year I have been looking.  I need to take my search nationwide at this point.  I am willing to move anywhere at this point and I need this to happen as soon as possible. I might have to change this to March of 2020 but the goal is important so it needs to happen much sooner than that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

GoalFinalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

This goal was finished four months ago, but it stands as a reminder of two things – I can achieve goals I set for myself and that the clock is ticking for the job goal.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

One goal of many that require a new job and more importantly a new location. I just don’t feel very socially comfortable around my home town anymore.  I trusted people here and in this area and when the chips were down, many of them disappeared ot stabbed me.   I need a fresh start in some other place.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I need to shift in my mind, for peace of mind’s sake, from looking for justice for those that have wronged me.  Might not happen for a while if ever.  I need to be thinking of acting justly toward others that I am trying to form new relationships with.  The problem is that I need then is to move and meet some new people to do this with. I just don’t trust anyone where I am anymore.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Language Study: 15 min. on Latin
  7. Reading – 1 chapter min.
  8. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  9. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  10. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

This a solid routine that gets me closer to all my goals.  The writing should be longer each day as I embrace being a writer more and more. The issue with that is learning to take things one step at a time and be patient with it.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Viking Blood” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Every time I set aside these journal posts for a little while I get reminded of their importance. I feel I lose focus every single time I do it so I might just want to make a mental note that I should not set these aside again – ever. That said, it has been in some way a good break so I can refocus what my life and this blog are about. For those of you that might be new followers, these posts are more for my benefit, but if you can learn something from my example then bonus.

This week I want to focus on my goals so below will be some notes regarding them under each virtue. I figure a four-week focus rotation might keep me from getting repetitious or bored.  Week 1 – Virtue, Week 2 – Principle, Week 3 – Goals, Week 4 – Bucket List.   This will allow for constant review and the ability to focus on more specific aspects once a month.  I haven’t talked about my goals in a while so this will be week 3 so to speak.

The title ‘Viking Blood’ is actually a reference to some good news that happened this week.  I had some blood work done Frigg and Freya’s Day this past week and the results were much better than expected.  All my indicators are right down the middle so I am healthy in that respect and my A1c dropped from 7.5 the last time to 5.7 this time.  1.8 points in the last year and a half.  Diet and exercise are definitely working.   Still no complications due to my diabetic condition.  Good News but still trying to get my A1c into the normal range which I am now .1 away.  This Viking Blood of mine seems to be doing fine.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

When this post drops it will be 344 days straight for the Grey Wayfarer.  That leaves 21 days to go. Goal complete on September 30th.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I am a good job and some savings away from one of my bucket list items.  Getting the tattoo would fulfill one of them. I just need the money.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Now that I have determined my primary identity is a writer, I look at this goal as the first challenge of that. Getting that non-fiction book written my march is doable.  I just need to discipline myself to write every day on it.  I guess I look at this blog as stage one of my journey in becoming a writer and now it is time to write for publication purposes.  Developing the discipline and habits to do that is my next priority along with finding a new job.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I still struggle with keeping my love of self right up there with love for family and friends.  I know what happens when I continue to give up things I want and need to make others happy, eventually, I don’t give a shit and need relief at all costs.  I want to avoid that situation,  so self-love is on my mind a lot. Making sure I am taking care of me is and should be my number one priority. More on this later today.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

As for my Routine, I am going to get back to them a couple of days at a time.  Tomorrow I want to get back to this one in full and then in a couple days my work one and then my rest one. Time to get my work and rest day routines back to where they need to be as this helps me the most with all my stuff.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Bringing it All Back to Center” (Plus Blog Notes) – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Sif’s Day

In closing this out I have two things to talk about at length. One is bringing everything back to the center. Secondly, I have been meditating on blog changes for the coming year as well. Today is the 342 straight day of this blog with at least one post a day. 23 to go and another goal achieved for the year.

Back to Center:

With all this meditation on my various identities: Primary, Secondary, and Side, I wanted to get back to the central purpose of it all. The simple question is: Who am I? There is no single answer. After all this meditation, I can confidently conclude that as a human being I have many facets and I will thus have several identities. Everything comes together into this one central person that is me.

The one polarity shift in identity has been to view myself as primarily a writer and secondarily as anything else that will pay the bills better and allow for writing. This means taking writing seriously and making it my main occupation, which means writing a lot more and doing things that go along with it like reading and research.

My job search can now be even more open than it was before. My main issue here is to find something I can enjoy, will be better than what I have now financially and professionally, and will still give me time to write. I don’t what this is yet and as a wayfarer of life that actually is kind of exciting to me.

My side identities are about me and improving me. They are also about enjoying life so I think that I will be always looking at them. The biggest shift this last year was spiritual, notably that my Primary identity of a Christian pastor is truly scrapped and the spiritual side of me is a side identity which doesn’t mean it is not important, it just means that it is a part of my life, not the most dominant thing anymore. I actually find myself more at peace because of this. Being other people’s spiritual guru just doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

Blog Notes:

This change in primary identity means some changes to the blog and to my disciplines. Writing the non-fiction book and novel now are more primary to me. Blogging needs to be a good writing exercise and provide my public face. Listing off the projects on this blog:

Journal Posts: I need to get back to doing these every week. I have noticed that on the weeks I do not do them, I lose focus. These three posts a week keep me centered on my goals and provided good reminders of the values I hold dear.

The Pagan Pulpit: I think sometimes I write these for me most of all. It helps me learn Asatru a little better each week and reminds me of each week’s spiritual journey. They are a good weekly milestone if you will.

Of Wolves and Ravens: Having a philosophy post once a week has been good as a more in-depth review of my philosophy of life. It has a practical edge to it that I like and that keeps me thinking.

Odin’s Eye: I like the change I made this week to be more open about this and focus more on my spiritual life as it stands instead. Time to move on from the past and embrace the future.

Crossing Bifrost: I have put this one on hold a lot. The more I got into Norse mythology, the more I knew I was not qualified to write about it. I was using it as a learning platform but I still have much to learn on a lot of subjects before I delve into writing on it again.

The Grey Wayfarer (serial): This little fantasy serial I have closed, mostly because I think it will make a good novel idea once I know Norse mythology a lot better.

Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury: This one is coming to an end. Time to move on and this series kind of holds on to the past a little. I am thinking of a few more posts to round out the story and it will come to an end.

The Rabyd Skald Posts: These are my posts that talk about issues I am facing in more detail. The Grey and The Wayfarer versions are more in-depth times when I am struggling with The Grey. I also use these to talk about the blog and writing so they come up a few times a month. They are not really scheduled but they form something I do regularly.

Skald Tales and Poems: My poetry is here and there is an open slot for short stories I have yet to use but I think I will soon. This is the short writing projects page and mostly so far it si poems. Poems are a bit of a mixed bag for me personally. On the one hand, they help me release emotion to the universe, on the other hand, they remind me of Miss Salty and that can trigger some things I don’t want to feel sometimes. Hopefully, as time goes on the memories in writing a poem will be more positive.

The Skald’s Lyre: Me talking about the music in my life. I like to do this because it can provide a good self-examination of what I ma communicating outside of writing. Music fills the gaps for me in that regard.

The Book of Rabyd: Largely finished, this project is a collection of sayings and principles I follow. It is always a work in progress as I leave it open to add other things, but the main work on it is finished.

Freya’s Chambers: New. Like brand new. Mostly this is my viewpoint on sex and sexually related issues. It is a new project as my world view is changed from Christian to Pagan so it has an effect on this. I also tend to bring in the idea that moral busybodies need to be told to go away.

Space Tramp: Also new but I suspect when it ends I will hed down another road with a different role-playing game so I might eventually put this under the overall title of Roleplaying Fan Fiction where it will be one writing project among many designed to let the dice challenge me in my writing.

There is a lot to unpack and I have some other things to add but the main thing is there is no shortage of things to write on. I am going to raise the stakes going into the new year and basically write journal posts like have been doing but on those days and another post will drop as well,

1) I want to continue the Viking / Norse Mythology Theme some more when appropriate

2) and I need to restructure how the week is laid out with that in mind as well.  I just think it is weird that Odin’s Eye drops on Thor’s Day when Woden’s Day Makes more sense.

3) I need to be more consistent with my fiction practice.

My solution is to restructure the week as follows:

Sol’s Day – The Pagan Pulpit

Mani’s Day – Journal: Foundational Virtues, Of Wolves and Ravens

Tyr’s Day – Fiction Post

Woden’s Day: Journal: Business Virtues, Odin’s Eye

Thor’s Day: Fiction Post

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Journal: Self Virtues, Freya’s Chambers

Sif’s Day: The Skald’s Lyre or Skald Tales and Poems.

The Rabyd Skald Posts will drop when needed and I am putting Crossing Bifrost on hold until I have studied the subject of Norse mythology better. This actually only adds three posts by making the journal post days require another post. Look for the changes starting tomorrow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Identity and Job Search Frustrations” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

From a job search point of view, this has been a frustrating week.  I think I must have received at least 20 ‘you suck’ emails.  They don’t stop me from applying again for sometimes the same job but the amount this last week was much higher than normal and it is really starting to get to me. I ain’t gonna give up but man it makes the day to day a little difficult.  Probably what makes it worse right now is that I see my friends either with great jobs or getting new better ones and my ministry experience doesn’t seem to count for jack shit in the real world.

Closer to home a promotion at work was basically given to someone outside our department that knows nothing about what we do when there were plenty of people inside the department who were more than qualified. Including me. Makes for frustration at a level right now that creates a possibility of The Grey returning.

I suppose it is also this question of identity as well.  I mean I change my area of looking for a job quite a bit.  One day its business and the next it is the government, after that education.   Right now I would settle for something that just made more money so instead of just surviving we could make some headway toward our goals.

My problem is what am I comes up a lot in regards to career and that is something I cannot shake. I feel the next few years are going to be telling as to whether I make progress or not.  Age is a factor like it or not.  “It’s illegal to discriminate based on age in the United States, Rabyd Skald”. Yes, true, but there is that pile on some Human Resource management people’s desk called ‘too experienced’ or better ‘overqualified’. Just saying.

It all keeps coming back to ‘who am I?”

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

If there is a place where my virtues and real-life are struggling it is here. Independence is achieved in part through financial independence and I am struggling to get on top of this. I want to do more than get by. I want to be free to pursue what I want to pursue and that requires some financial strength.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

GoalFinalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

Despite it all I still enjoy working, I just also want to enjoy the work I am doing and know that financially I am working toward something better. Hard work should pay well, it just should. It is this growing feeling of being stuck that I despise, not work itself.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I still try to be helpful when I can though.  I would do more, but I need more to do that. I am not one of those guys who believes in prosperity without charity. To me, abundance has as a goal giving more.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Being hard on yourself is an act of discipline, but there is a fine line into crossing into being unjust toward yourself. In the end, the self virtues are going to come back and help the business virtues.  I just need a win here in Business.  It seems like I lose a lot more than I should here. I want to be just toward myself though and note it isn’t for lack of trying. It would help if the gods or whoever would smile at least with something. But if they don’t listen, to hell with them, I am going forward the best I can.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Language Study: 15 min. on Latin
  7. Reading – 1 chapter min.
  8. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  9. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  10. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

Not much change here other than dropping Latin to 15 minutes and adding reading.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Journey: Means or Destination?” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Over the last month, it seems that every discussion with family and friends turns eventually to a discussion of my future. Some of these I have started myself others have been presented to me.  No one has really yelled or pushed, but there is a concern for my welfare that is appreciated because I am not always sure about my welfare myself at times when it comes to my future.  Not that I am not concerned, it is just things seem far more difficult than I want them to be.

The issue for me is finding a new role mostly and that has me debating whether my future career is that role or is my role what needs to be defined and then what my career is will flow out of that.  It is probably for us spiritual wanderers the basic question of what is the journey? Is it a means to enlightenment or is it enlightenment itself? If it the path that is a way to points that are what brings truth and thus change or is walking on the path itself the means by which truth and change are acquired.

I have struggled with this question at times but the answer is not either-or, it is both-and.  All the questions I am trying to answer about myself right now are important.  The way I am going to find the answers is in part the points on the journey where I stop and am enlightened, but also the walking of the paths of virtue also is enlightening in and of itself.

I suppose this expresses itself in the Virtues I follow and the Principles that guide them becoming the means to the change I need in my life.  The goals and bucket list items becoming more of those points on the map where I can mark where truth and change were discovered. Both-And.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Honor is something that seems to me is a lost virtue in this world. I note how fluid people are with their beliefs on important matters and I have to wonder if it is truly a change in position over long thought which is the honorable way to do things, or simply bending to the political whims of the mob. I commit myself to do the former and not the later.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I have some items in my life right now that require courage and needed change. The question now is to act at the right time on them.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Facing the truth is difficult these days, there is far more struggle than I want to admit to ahead in my life. But I need to face the truth and act. I am coming to another time where courage and truth as paths are going to come together for a while and that is just the truth of it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

The main issue for me right now is that I feel I am loving others again but at the expense of loving myself. I keep asking the question of how much am I going to have to give up of what I want in order to make others happy and that is causing me to have flashbacks into the same emotional state I was in a couple years ago. Being both dissatisfied and restless.  I know this means I am not loving myself enough and that is going to be tough for others when I make the shift here.  The worry I have is a backlash and my personality doesn’t like backlash, but at the same time, if I don’t make some changes, I will have failed myself.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

The beginning of September marks a new round of effort on my routines. I am going to have to make some adjustments to the other two but this one is good and I simply need to be more consistent.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Happy Sif’s Day and Some Personal and Writing Notes” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Sif’s Day

Sif: Gold-Haired Earth Goddess

After a week’s deliberation, I decided that from henceforth, Saturn’s Day will now be Sif’s Day.  I juggled Eostre and Idun in this spot but in the end, I think Thor’s wife, goddess of the land, earth, and harvest takes Saturn’s Place the best.  Her story in Norse mythology is the one where her hair is shaved off, presumably by Loki as a prank.  Thor threatens to hurt Loki repeatedly unless he fixes the problem.  Through a complex, multilayered scheme, Loki convinces the Dwarves to create living gold hair that when Sif places it on her head attaches itself and becomes her hair.

Other than that, Sif represents the fertility of the earth.  Something that is missing from the week with the current gods and goddesses.  As Thor’s wife, the rain – earth duo is in the days now.  I rejected Idun and Eostre in the end because they already have their time of the year all to themselves in many respects.  Sif represents the constant and continual bounty of the earth in all seasons.  With Sol, we have the bright sun goddess who is a beacon of life and truth.  With Frigg, we have hearth and home.  Freya gives us a passionate woman both in love and war.   The addition of Sif gives us the hard-working woman in the field. A welcome addition.

So. Happy Sif’s Day.

Personal Notes: 

This is not a The Grey and The Wayfarer post. But after writing my four-part series of getting things off my chest so to speak, I have felt much better.  I have thought of some of these things far less and seem to be moving on better. Perhaps the Storm is breaking and some sun is shining through at last.  Time to get moving.

My job search can be a little frustrating at times. I learned recently that most Human Resources jobs want certification.  No problem accept its another few months of time and a couple thousand dollars. So crossing that off at least for now, I have focused on Business, Education, and Government.

Business – I am moving my focus from human resources to retail as I actually not only have some education there as far as management but also experience both in retail and management but never at the same time. Mostly, business is attractive because I have 15-20 years left before age and retirement will start to kick my ass and I need to make as much money and put it aside as possible in that frame of time.  At the same time, the physical labor thing is going to be less and less of an option. Retail Business Management fits given experience and education.

Education – I could go to another state and teach.  Texas would let me start and then learn the education stuff as I go.  Mostly though I would be using it as a springboard for a masters’ degree and eventual doctorate. I would want to teach at the university level.

Government – Like it or not, I am adding this to the list because my Political Science degree gives me the most qualifications for government jobs. It is what the degree is actually designed for, so it is time to add it to the list.

One of the things I have done is to rewrite my Resume again. I eliminated, as much as possible, any references to my ministry career and my education for it. They are irrelevant to the jobs listed above.  I also have been removing anything that might give away my age. My experience listed will still make me older, but I want it to be, without lying, a little nebulous.

Writing Notes:

There is, of course, my other ‘career’ as a writer which I need to get more serious about.  So here is that list:

Blog: This personal blog needs to be kept up because it is simply good practice.

Blog Fiction: Last time I wrote about some fiction ideas I had floating, but there is some other fiction on this blog already that I need to address and make the previously mentioned ideas a little more concrete.

  1. The Grey Wayfarer (Serial) – I wrote this series when I first started this blog  It was a work of fantasy fiction with the same name as the blog.  That was confusing I am sure, but the reason I stopped writing it here was a realized it had potential to be one helluva novel.  So, I leave the five parts that exist as a teaser to a someday maybe finished work. I just felt the writing was that good and so was the concept.
  2. Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury –  There is a large part of me that senses the whole Hedge Wizard of Redberg / Rogue Wizard universe and storyline needs come to a complete end. I originally started the whole thing as a labor of love for Miss Salty and now she is gone out of my life.  The continuation based on it in this blog is difficult emotionally at best to write. Spoiler: It might be time for the whole thing to die. But it will die by my own hand and not just fade away unfinished. I have been sitting on Part 10 for months because emotionally it might be the last difficult thing to write with the whole saga. After that, it is simply a matter of killing off the main character. Me.
  3. ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ (adult version) I have toyed with the idea of taking fairy tales and giving them a modern spin many times.  It would fit my short story or short fiction series niche.  Red Riding Hood, if you know the actual origin and symbolism is already a pretty adult tale, but I want to give it an urban fantasy truly adult feel.  Little Red wouldn’t be the only one but it is my favorite fairy tale and a good place to start.
  4. Tales of a Viking Muse (working title) – I mentioned this a couple days ago.  This will be my Viking Shieldmaiden Skald Muse.  I am using Dungeons and Dragons to flesh out the character and to create the backdrop world to an extent.  She will be a combination of a fighter/bard.
  5. ‘Space Tramp’ – Basically I am taking the advanced character generation system from MegaTraveller and doing a year by year full flesh out of the background of a character.  The challenge, of course, is the random nature of the generation process which will force me to in one year explain a near-death and another year take a pretty boring admin assignment and make an interesting story of it.  The character will be a free trader crewman of the merchant branch, so it should give him the freedom to move about as he sees fit.  It should be fun.

Non-Fiction Book: My book here is basically Life of Christ, but form a skeptics’ point of view. I taught the life of Christ as a pastor and instructor in the faith probably ten times. I am simply writing what would amount to a harmony of the gospels with a twist.  I am going to show even with four accounts, the gospels still are not compelling evidence to believe that the Life of Christ as presented in the Bible is a genuine story of any more historical value than Homer’s Illiad or the Tales of Gilgamesh.

Novel: Over the last few years the successful fantasy stories have been the epic ones from Game of Thrones, to Lord of the Rings, to Wheel of Time and Sword of Truth.  I don’t mind these but I enjoy more the stories that are a little more down to earth.  Five friends from a small village heading out into the unknown and finding an adventure.  No saving the world or correcting the imbalances in the powers of magic for the universe.  Just some friends finding themselves in a tough spot and fighting to get out of it.  That’s my novel. I am thinking of using National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) to fast forward its content by 50,000 words in November.

This is a lot of writing, but good writers write a lot and I want to be a good writer. So, raise a drinking horn to the challenge of making some changes in my writing with the goal of publication and making it my second and hopefully also paying career.  What you may see over the next couple of weeks is me trying to make progress on all of this. Hopefully, my muse will come alive and something will not only click but take off.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Mirror Motivation” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Most of what involves my self goals are either exercise and/or nutrition-related and sometimes I get asked how I stay motivated.  I actually have to go back to when I was first lifting to answer that question.  I read a lot back then from the great people of fitness and you can’t do that without looking at Jack Lalanne.  Long-time fitness guru who died in his 90s, he was constantly asked how to get and stay motivated. In one interview he answered the following:

  1. Get a full-length mirror and hang it up in your bedroom or bathroom.
  2. Take off all your clothes and stand in front of that mirror and really look at your body.  Honest assessment.
  3. Look at your body and keep looking until you get mad and are motivated to do something about it if there is something that needs work and gives yourself a pat on the back for the good work you have done if it looks good.
  4. Either way, this will motivate you to continue.
  5. Do this regularly, like once every week or whenever you feel your motivation slide.

According to Jack, this was the motivation technique of himself and a good percentage of those he knew that were fitness instructors and it worked most of the time. I can believe it because it works for me. I have been doing this, I will not say consistently, but when it has been consistent my motivation never has wavered. I think the only words of caution I have ever heard about this is psychological: men tend to view themselves more positively in the mirror and women tend to be more negative.  Keep that in mind when you’re trying to make an honest assessment.

From a more spiritual point of view, viewing one’s soul in a mirror can have the same effect. Being honest with yourself and gazing at yourself in some kind fo soul mirror is beneficial. For me, it is still the same moment I am standing naked in from of a mirror trying to motivate myself, but instead, of my chest and legs, I am looking into my own eyes. The mirror to the soul is an accurate description for sure.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and text

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Discipline is the key to all my other virtues.  It is the muscle virtue that makes all the others work.  Without it, I make no progress on anything so getting back to Routine is kind of my major focus right now.

Nutritionally I need to start cutting more carbs. I have lost a lot of weight so far (70 lbs.), but my honest mirror assessment is I probably have 10 to 15. I also need to really work on the Paleo being full paleo which means finding alternatives to dairy and a few other things.

This is the only bucket list item with a specific date.  In truth it is not an act of rebellion against myself, but rather me being truly who I want to be.  It is only rebellious to society and culture so that is my thinking as I plan it.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Keep getting up.

Weightlifting needs to change in September.  I think I am ready to engage the barbell exercises again and as I look in the mirror it is those muscles that seem to lag behind.  Literally one of them is my gluts.  That’s my butt people, but also my lower back and chest could use some more work.    It’s the squats, deadlifts, and benchpress that are needed.

Walking and stretching will return simply if I follow my various Routines.

I still am trying to get the money for my first tattoo. Hopefully, the promotion to fulltime at work or a new job will do wonders for that coming together faster.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I wrote on fidelity this week so I won’t belabor the point.

This is my bucket list item with the most time, but I can get the genetics test as soon as I have the money and then I and a search site are going to get acquainted in order to find out where exactly in the world my ancestors got on the boat and came from to America.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Looking honestly in the mirror is something that has given me wisdom.  Our perspective ourselves is often skewed in our minds.  It takes the mirror reflecting back at us with us engaged in an honest assessment of what we actually see, to get aa true picture of who we are.  This is the wisdom that is found in the mirror.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

In a couple weeks, you will probably see these routines change for Work and Rest Days. I am thinking some things will be every day but with shorter time spans to get the discipline of it going again.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!