Motivation

“Tattooed Thoughts” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The Bucket list items for self-virtues have a lot to do with heritage, even more so now that I have changed one of them (see below).  Mostly though my thoughts are on the first tattoo that I want.  It is the bucket list item with the highest probability of being fulfilled this year.

I want all my tattoos to reflect both my philosophy and my journey through life.  After my post on Odin’s Eye this week, I know for sure it will be the valknut with rune circle.  I am not sure where yet, but that is going to be it. it will be in a place that can be covered for employment purposes, but when at home it will probably be visible in some way.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

I change the date on this to reflect a more pagan viewpoint of celebrating Beltane.  That night when anything goes will be so for me.  With certain limitations fo course.  This is about embracing heritage more than anything and coupling it with a need for one undisciplined day a year.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Already talked about this but it does have a time limit, my 51st birthday.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This is a really long term bucket list item as it is basically still ten years away.  There is just a lot to do and I have a feeling I am going to need all the time I can get to make it happen.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

I know here is wisdom and I am talking about doing undisciplined things and getting a tattoo which some might consider unwise.  Part of wisdom is knowing when to set things aside and enjoy life and mark the milestones you have passed with a little celebration.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

I really see no problems here other than I need to do it.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Minimalism and Time Management” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Minimalism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion

One of my overarching philosophies is the philosophy of minimalism.  That is the question that this adds is very simple – do I need this or does this bring me joy?  if the answer is ‘no’ then minimalism says that you get rid fo it.  Now, this does not just apply to things like furniture and clothes, but also relationships, health, fitness, and just about anything else that this question can be leveled at.

One of the key issues is what you are spending time on.  All things take up time and the minimalist question is whether or not the time should or should not be spent. is the time spent necessary and does it bring happiness?  If not, why are you spending them on this whatever it is?

Behind the statement “Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens First” is the wisdom and reason of ravens who are looking for things that better manage time and get rid fo time wasters. This is minimalism at its best.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

The issue of need is always a sticky issue as what a person’s needs are can be far more than food or clothing, but also relationships and other things that allow a person to function.  There is a crossover between needs and wants but the question of do I need this to function as a human being is the starting point of being minimalist and how I spend my time.

As an example, my work wardrobe is the same and I actually have four copies of it.  Why? I spend zero time deciding what to wear for work. That time is better spent on other things like writing, and actual preparing for work.  I need to have clothes for work, but nothing says I need to have something different every single day so I save time by having it pretty much the same.  You could also accomplish this by having three to four preset outfits for work that you just rotate through.

Wants (Freki):

The second part of the question involves the wolf of want.  Does this bring me joy?  Does it make me happy?  I think this part is more about all the other things besides stuff.  Relationships, in particular, are here because some relationships are not only not needed, but they are negative and time wasters.  You might find more time if you just drop some of them and improve your attitude because you are not being drained.

For myself, my relationships are few right now but I would have to say very much necessary and they do provide some comfort and support so they do indeed provide from my happiness. My issue is new relationships as I am much more cautious about being sucked into a relationship that is going to take more than it gives. I spent a lot of time as a minister fostering relationships that were unnecessary, simply because it was expected and let me tell you I don’t want that anymore.  From a loyalty standpoint, family and friends are a different matter.  All other relationships, however, have to be carefully considered in the matter of how much time is required to maintain them.

Reason (Huginn):

I find reason is more helpful in assessing needs.  I can usually apply a pretty simple reasonable question; ‘have I used this in the last year because I needed to use it?’ and suddenly whether or not I do need it is pretty apparent.  I also can say this for relationships.  Work relationships are needed, so they stay on my lists but I am cautious about how much time I spend on each one.

Wisdom (Muninn):

The question of joy is a wisdom question because it doesn’t just involve a question of happiness but love, heart, and spirit.  There is more to joy than your own joy too.  ‘Does you having this thing give someone else joy?’ is a valid question.  I have a few things like that because other people gave them to me in trust that I would honor the spirit in which they were given.  Other things are just junk moving from one house to the next.

Long term thinking also hits this because I have a few other things that I know would give me joy if the context was right.  They may not be currently giving me joy but if things change I know (keyword ‘know’) they would.

Conclusion:

Minimalism plus time management is a healthy combo for the wolves and ravens. But minimalism properly practiced gives you more time to do other things and that is simply a fact.  It focuses my time on what is important and that is key to achieving my goals.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Kicking the Bucket” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week I consider my bucket list. You know that list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. This list is the major milestone I want to hit before my death and i think it is important to have long term goals and that is what they are.

People ask me without Christianity how do I have hope.  I ask them why they would assume that just because I don’t believe in the Chrisitan version of the afterlife any more that I wouldn’t have hope?  If you always looking to the beyond for your justification for living in hope now; I would say you are too heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good. Hope for me is not about life after but the life I have now.

As I deist I concede the atheists might be right and this is all I get. I also hope there is a life after death but I am not going to act as if that is guaranteed.  My bucket list is a reflection of the things that I want so that my life now is enjoyable and the purpose I create with them for my life is my own creation. I find a lot of hope in this.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

This is the beginning of my hike bucket list as the first goal.  If my ultimate goal as an old person is to hike the triple crown this is a good training hike to prepare for the idea of how to do something long term.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

This is a desire to visit a city I have seen for a few days once again and view all of its places. I loved this town as it did not feel like a city to me.  More of an experience.  I want to experience it again but this time for a couple weeks and enjoy it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

A short term bucket list Item and one I am considering changing.  Don’t get me wrong Latin is an awesome language to learn but I am thinking that if I am going to learn a language every couple of years, languages that are actually spoken now might be more beneficial and then learn Latin at a later date.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I am very focused on the fulcrum of self-love right now. my understanding that this is what makes all my other loves possible and stronger is the motivation.  Mostly though I need to start focusing on my goals and bucket list because this is my life and I need to start living it and loving it.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This part got shorter.  I don’t do breakfast and people freak out about it, but you know I have found that eating from what most people would consider 11am to 7pm is sufficient for me and intermittent fasting has proven, when coupled with my Paleo Diet, to improve my fat loss and weight management.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Routine Rewrite”- A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / 3 Comments

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Yeah. I am rewriting my routines again.   Mostly I am trying to make writing more central and along with that reading. This means shifting some things or resigning myself to the fact that days I work don’t have a lot of free time and that is OK.  I am working toward being a published writer and a solid secondary job that allows some progress toward my other goals.

My good report on my health is no cause to rest on my laurels.  I still don’t have a ‘normal’ A1c and I would like to get there. Exercise and nutrition are still central to this so we continue.  Some changes are needed as far as diet and getting back to walking more regularly before the snow flies, and that is all part of my routine as well.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To be following a full paleo diet I need to do a couple more things.  One is to eliminate all liquids that are not water and two get rid of dairy products.  The first means slowly making sure I drink less and less of other things and put more water into my routine instead. The second is a bit harder, I like cheese and cheese has no carbs.  But I must see if full Paleo has solid effects before I modify it with say some Keto elements.

Another thing I am returning to is intermittent fasting.  Mostly from the time I get up until lunchtime.  I skip breakfast and any early snacking.

My cheats on this are to allow one thing I am craving a day and two cheat meals a week which are basically an hour slot of time where I can eat what I want to eat and drink what I want to drink.  Part for social reasons but also it’s nice to get off script every now and then.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Weightlifting is doing well, but I need to walk more. Fall colors will be out soon and that is not something I want to miss as it is my favorite season.  But also this might be the little bit more that I need to get truly leaned out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Goal achieved here.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Being wise right now is key.  Balance and focus are all important and I need to order my life more effectively so that the things I do each day lead to my eventual success. The best course of action every day is what I am looking for now.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Of all my routines, this one will probably change the least.  This one is more about execution.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“An Important Singular Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I look through all my goals, there is one of them that seems to rise to the top.  A singular goal that is very important – finding a new and better paying job.  This is the reason as a man in his late 40s I went back to school and got another degree.  I now have that degree in hand but not a new job. Yet.

No matter how frustrated I get on this issue I attempt to move forward one step at a time.  The most frustrating thing for me is landing an interview. Once that happens my odds go up tremendously because I can sell myself in person pretty well.

Once I have the new job a lot more things will open up for me.  Other goals will be much more easy to attain.  It comes down to putting the best effort I can toward this goal while at the same time keeping the identity of being a writer first and whatever second.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

‘By September 2019″ might be very difficult now. But it does show how frustrating this search has been and for how long – since January of this year I have been looking.  I need to take my search nationwide at this point.  I am willing to move anywhere at this point and I need this to happen as soon as possible. I might have to change this to March of 2020 but the goal is important so it needs to happen much sooner than that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

This goal was finished four months ago, but it stands as a reminder of two things – I can achieve goals I set for myself and that the clock is ticking for the job goal.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

One goal of many that require a new job and more importantly a new location. I just don’t feel very socially comfortable around my home town anymore.  I trusted people here and in this area and when the chips were down, many of them disappeared ot stabbed me.   I need a fresh start in some other place.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I need to shift in my mind, for peace of mind’s sake, from looking for justice for those that have wronged me.  Might not happen for a while if ever.  I need to be thinking of acting justly toward others that I am trying to form new relationships with.  The problem is that I need then is to move and meet some new people to do this with. I just don’t trust anyone where I am anymore.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Language Study: 15 min. on Latin
  7. Reading – 1 chapter min.
  8. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  9. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  10. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

This a solid routine that gets me closer to all my goals.  The writing should be longer each day as I embrace being a writer more and more. The issue with that is learning to take things one step at a time and be patient with it.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Viking Blood” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Every time I set aside these journal posts for a little while I get reminded of their importance. I feel I lose focus every single time I do it so I might just want to make a mental note that I should not set these aside again – ever. That said, it has been in some way a good break so I can refocus what my life and this blog are about. For those of you that might be new followers, these posts are more for my benefit, but if you can learn something from my example then bonus.

This week I want to focus on my goals so below will be some notes regarding them under each virtue. I figure a four-week focus rotation might keep me from getting repetitious or bored.  Week 1 – Virtue, Week 2 – Principle, Week 3 – Goals, Week 4 – Bucket List.   This will allow for constant review and the ability to focus on more specific aspects once a month.  I haven’t talked about my goals in a while so this will be week 3 so to speak.

The title ‘Viking Blood’ is actually a reference to some good news that happened this week.  I had some blood work done Frigg and Freya’s Day this past week and the results were much better than expected.  All my indicators are right down the middle so I am healthy in that respect and my A1c dropped from 7.5 the last time to 5.7 this time.  1.8 points in the last year and a half.  Diet and exercise are definitely working.   Still no complications due to my diabetic condition.  Good News but still trying to get my A1c into the normal range which I am now .1 away.  This Viking Blood of mine seems to be doing fine.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

When this post drops it will be 344 days straight for the Grey Wayfarer.  That leaves 21 days to go. Goal complete on September 30th.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I am a good job and some savings away from one of my bucket list items.  Getting the tattoo would fulfill one of them. I just need the money.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Now that I have determined my primary identity is a writer, I look at this goal as the first challenge of that. Getting that non-fiction book written my march is doable.  I just need to discipline myself to write every day on it.  I guess I look at this blog as stage one of my journey in becoming a writer and now it is time to write for publication purposes.  Developing the discipline and habits to do that is my next priority along with finding a new job.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I still struggle with keeping my love of self right up there with love for family and friends.  I know what happens when I continue to give up things I want and need to make others happy, eventually, I don’t give a shit and need relief at all costs.  I want to avoid that situation,  so self-love is on my mind a lot. Making sure I am taking care of me is and should be my number one priority. More on this later today.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

As for my Routine, I am going to get back to them a couple of days at a time.  Tomorrow I want to get back to this one in full and then in a couple days my work one and then my rest one. Time to get my work and rest day routines back to where they need to be as this helps me the most with all my stuff.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Bringing it All Back to Center” (Plus Blog Notes) – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

In closing this out I have two things to talk about at length. One is bringing everything back to the center. Secondly, I have been meditating on blog changes for the coming year as well. Today is the 342 straight day of this blog with at least one post a day. 23 to go and another goal achieved for the year.

Back to Center:

With all this meditation on my various identities: Primary, Secondary, and Side, I wanted to get back to the central purpose of it all. The simple question is: Who am I? There is no single answer. After all this meditation, I can confidently conclude that as a human being I have many facets and I will thus have several identities. Everything comes together into this one central person that is me.

The one polarity shift in identity has been to view myself as primarily a writer and secondarily as anything else that will pay the bills better and allow for writing. This means taking writing seriously and making it my main occupation, which means writing a lot more and doing things that go along with it like reading and research.

My job search can now be even more open than it was before. My main issue here is to find something I can enjoy, will be better than what I have now financially and professionally, and will still give me time to write. I don’t what this is yet and as a wayfarer of life that actually is kind of exciting to me.

My side identities are about me and improving me. They are also about enjoying life so I think that I will be always looking at them. The biggest shift this last year was spiritual, notably that my Primary identity of a Christian pastor is truly scrapped and the spiritual side of me is a side identity which doesn’t mean it is not important, it just means that it is a part of my life, not the most dominant thing anymore. I actually find myself more at peace because of this. Being other people’s spiritual guru just doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

Blog Notes:

This change in primary identity means some changes to the blog and to my disciplines. Writing the non-fiction book and novel now are more primary to me. Blogging needs to be a good writing exercise and provide my public face. Listing off the projects on this blog:

Journal Posts: I need to get back to doing these every week. I have noticed that on the weeks I do not do them, I lose focus. These three posts a week keep me centered on my goals and provided good reminders of the values I hold dear.

The Pagan Pulpit: I think sometimes I write these for me most of all. It helps me learn Asatru a little better each week and reminds me of each week’s spiritual journey. They are a good weekly milestone if you will.

Of Wolves and Ravens: Having a philosophy post once a week has been good as a more in-depth review of my philosophy of life. It has a practical edge to it that I like and that keeps me thinking.

Odin’s Eye: I like the change I made this week to be more open about this and focus more on my spiritual life as it stands instead. Time to move on from the past and embrace the future.

Crossing Bifrost: I have put this one on hold a lot. The more I got into Norse mythology, the more I knew I was not qualified to write about it. I was using it as a learning platform but I still have much to learn on a lot of subjects before I delve into writing on it again.

The Grey Wayfarer (serial): This little fantasy serial I have closed, mostly because I think it will make a good novel idea once I know Norse mythology a lot better.

Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury: This one is coming to an end. Time to move on and this series kind of holds on to the past a little. I am thinking of a few more posts to round out the story and it will come to an end.

The Rabyd Skald Posts: These are my posts that talk about issues I am facing in more detail. The Grey and The Wayfarer versions are more in-depth times when I am struggling with The Grey. I also use these to talk about the blog and writing so they come up a few times a month. They are not really scheduled but they form something I do regularly.

Skald Tales and Poems: My poetry is here and there is an open slot for short stories I have yet to use but I think I will soon. This is the short writing projects page and mostly so far it si poems. Poems are a bit of a mixed bag for me personally. On the one hand, they help me release emotion to the universe, on the other hand, they remind me of Miss Salty and that can trigger some things I don’t want to feel sometimes. Hopefully, as time goes on the memories in writing a poem will be more positive.

The Skald’s Lyre: Me talking about the music in my life. I like to do this because it can provide a good self-examination of what I ma communicating outside of writing. Music fills the gaps for me in that regard.

The Book of Rabyd: Largely finished, this project is a collection of sayings and principles I follow. It is always a work in progress as I leave it open to add other things, but the main work on it is finished.

Freya’s Chambers: New. Like brand new. Mostly this is my viewpoint on sex and sexually related issues. It is a new project as my world view is changed from Christian to Pagan so it has an effect on this. I also tend to bring in the idea that moral busybodies need to be told to go away.

Space Tramp: Also new but I suspect when it ends I will hed down another road with a different role-playing game so I might eventually put this under the overall title of Roleplaying Fan Fiction where it will be one writing project among many designed to let the dice challenge me in my writing.

There is a lot to unpack and I have some other things to add but the main thing is there is no shortage of things to write on. I am going to raise the stakes going into the new year and basically write journal posts like have been doing but on those days and another post will drop as well,

1) I want to continue the Viking / Norse Mythology Theme some more when appropriate

2) and I need to restructure how the week is laid out with that in mind as well.  I just think it is weird that Odin’s Eye drops on Thor’s Day when Woden’s Day Makes more sense.

3) I need to be more consistent with my fiction practice.

My solution is to restructure the week as follows:

Sol’s Day – The Pagan Pulpit

Mani’s Day – Journal: Foundational Virtues, Of Wolves and Ravens

Tyr’s Day – Fiction Post

Woden’s Day: Journal: Business Virtues, Odin’s Eye

Thor’s Day: Fiction Post

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Journal: Self Virtues, Freya’s Chambers

Sif’s Day: The Skald’s Lyre or Skald Tales and Poems.

The Rabyd Skald Posts will drop when needed and I am putting Crossing Bifrost on hold until I have studied the subject of Norse mythology better. This actually only adds three posts by making the journal post days require another post. Look for the changes starting tomorrow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Primary Identity: Writer” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Mani’s Day

In the Last Rabyd Skald, I basically stated that I needed to probably do some meditations on who I am.  It is a question I have not been avoiding but struggling with since my departure from my former role as minister and Christian.  I would say the Chrisitan part being replaced by “Deistic Humanistic Pagan” has been pretty solid and that identity has not been hard to grab ahold of so much as the implications of that change are still something I am coming to terms with on a daily basis.  The real problem is my role as minister being replaced by what?

For a while, I have had this idea of being a business person of some sort and being a writer on the side.  It is a practical choice because money is a real thing that you need to live life. I also have to deal with the fact the ministry has left me broke and without any retirement to speak of, so there is a need to make some money to make up for that. But that is a rational decision and to be blunt only listens to one of my ravens – Reason.  What about Wisdom? It also brings up the question of will my wolves be satisfied with such a role? Will I truly be getting what I need or want?

So my meditations have turned inward.  What is the call of my heart and what is the course that is wisest as far as encompassing my whole being?

I have to give a shout out to a fellow blogger from the other side of the world (the internet is an amazing place isn’t it) who on my last post on this issue wrote that perhaps I should simply ask the universe and wait to see what happens. You can check her out at Myst Nokomis.  I know I have found her observations interesting and at times inspiring. She is actually a blogger that I read regularly.

My conception of what she said in my mind is a little different but I get what she means and so I said to myself.  “Perhaps it is time to just silence myself in meditation and listen.”

Oddly enough the first thought that struck me is one word “Writer”.  Now the trick to being open in meditation is not to recoil at the thoughts that come to mind.  I have often said I am a writer but I have always placed it secondary to what other things I am pursuing.  The thought I had in that meditation session was that perhaps I have this backward.  That ultimately I am a writer first and something else second to pay the bills.  That what I should be focusing on is my writing and then focussing on an occupation that is complementary to that. Something that harmonizes with being a writer, not making my writing harmonize with something else.  Writing becoming the melody of my life and what other things I do becoming harmony to use a musical analogy.

I think I might be on to something as this feeds my wolves and it seems a wiser course of action.  It still has rationality to it, because if end up doing something I hate, I will not make progress in it. Writing has always been a love and something I do to express myself fully.  People who meet me personally, never get the full story as I pull back into myself.  I have trust issues born from painful experiences.  When I write, that inhibition leaves. Like all INFJs it is my artistic/non-verbal way of expressing myself that is true.

The main issue then is to be about the business of being a writer and that involves a few things but most notably setting aside times to write above and beyond the blogging that are substantial  Like at least an hour or two a day. I guess what I should start to get in my mind is writing on this blog is kind of my writing warm-up.  Then its time to be working on some projects for publication.

I have long mentioned I am a big fan of the science fiction author Robert A. Heinlein.  In the book Grumbles from the Grave, a letter where he answered the question of why he wrote is preserved.  His three-fold answer was:

  1. Make Money
  2. Entertain Readers
  3. Make People Think

As I have meditated on this over the years in think he had the right of it.  The first priority of a writer is how to support himself and his family by writing, the other two are means to that because if no one likes what you write then they won’t buy it.  If they buy what you write you won’t really be impactful unless you throw something in that makes people think, it leads to long-term success.  This is the right priority, any other way is just high minded idealism that won’t amount to much in all three categories.

This change will require more meditation, but I think I am on the right path, it certain resonates with my wolves and ravens philosophy; better than some career, then a writing career as secondary.  I think this needs to be switched and then I can look at my identity from the proper perspective.

Just a blog note to end things: there will be a post later today for my serial: Space Tramp, but I might be doing these meditation posts in place of journal posts this week.  My identity has become an important issue and I want to make sure I get this right.  So you might see two posts today, Odin’s Day and Frigg and Freya’s Day.  One a post like this at 10 am and the other some fiction writing at 4 pm. At least for this week.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Taking A Few Deep Breaths” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

These last two weeks have been interesting and challenging. I was in the doctor’s office on Thursday and as always a little anxious. I was there for my routine checkup and consultation. But as I waited I did some thinking.  I have had the following experiences this last couple of weeks.

  1. I have had more denials from potential employers in the last ten days than in a couple months previously.  It’s like all the applications I filed came back with nulls.
  2. At my current employer, I was passed over for a job and it was given to someone with no experience whatsoever.
  3. I have had another bout with The Grey and while it was not severe. The cause was known, however.
  4. I have had a doctor’s appointment and while a lot of the news was good, there was some news that reminded me I am getting older.   And that sucks by the way.
  5. The End of August marks one year that my wife and I have been back together after our separation last summer and that has lead to some very reflective moments about my marriage.

This post is about taking a few deep breaths and looking at each of these a little reflectively and spiritually.

Deep Breath. 

I guess I have to say the whole job situation has caused me to look at the basic fact that I have not really discovered what my new identity is. It is in-process both practically and spiritually and so there is that.  Mostly though the practical concerns will start to become forefront issues in the next couple of months I don’t find something better. For now, though my meditations center on who am I?

Deep Breath.

The decision at work at first angered me and then I just felt disrespected. It was like really, could have slapped all of us from the department any harder, especially those of us that work hard over here and have management experience?  Then I took a breath, realized that this is not my place, I am in my heart looking to move on to something better, so I might as well get about it.

Deep Breath.

My bought with The Grey recently was brought about by a song played on the radio at work. It was my song to Miss Salty and it triggered the whole mess of feelings involved in that.  One thing they never seem to mention about being empathic is that emotions experienced in certain situations stay and lay dormant until something triggers them and then there you are all over again. Which triggers a whole lot of meditation on the problem.  My most recent meditations have led me to a question: What exactly is The Grey?

Depression?  It involves depression but there is that switch that goes off to protect me from the sadness so I feel nothing. In that state, am I depressed or something else entirely?  I think I might have had an introspective moment because of this that might lead to an awakening.   I hope so.

Deep Breath.

I took a lot of those deep breaths before I met my new doctor. I just passed 50 so the protocol becomes: ‘You need this test done, you need to start this medication as a diabetic.’  I am like – what is this malevolent magic that took place where all this was unnecessary at age 49 and 364 days but one day later, a whole list of evil fairies have comes and makes you vulnerable to a whole new crops of shit. I hope my new doctor is a good salesman and explains things well, because if you don’t sell me – Yeah, fuck that shit.

The problem is that all my health indicators indicate I am healthier than I was last year, but somehow my medicines need to be increased and new treatments engaged for possible problems down the road. I hate American medicine, they either engage in damage control after the fact or their definition of preventative medicine is purely put more pills in your body. Not my thoughts on how to approach my health.

Deep Breath.

I don’t take too much for granted when it regards my marriage.  Our reconciliation is in truth a work in progress. I simply acknowledge here that It still might not work, something I started when we first decided to go down this path to my family and something I remind myself of right now. I want it very much to work, don’t get me wrong. But I also acknowledge the struggle in my heart between how much do I have to give up as far as my personal happiness to stay married? I shouldn’t be looking at it that way should I, but I am, and that is very troubling to me.

  1. My wife and I have very different values now.  That is basically because I ‘fuck it’ to my former faith and she has not.  What is important to me is very different than what is important to her.  And it is growing more divided.
  2. Our goals are very different and trying to find common ground either involves a lot of compromises or straight up, from my perspective, me giving up a lot of my goals entirely.  I am growing weary of having to give up what I desire simply to make my family and friends happy, and that is exactly the state of mind I was in that caused me to walk away a year ago. Not good.
  3. I now know what aspects of a relationship with a woman I am missing and still desire. It creates a longing in my heart that I cannot seem to shake.

Deep Breath.

I think it is time to look within.  Discover who I am again and out of that might flow a lot of answers.  It is time to awaken and to take that first breath of who I am now.  It is time to find that person and become them.

Deep Breath.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Weights, Backpacks, and Overcoming Myself” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Recently I decided to do my weight training cycles in two-month blocks instead of three months.  Part of it is that you have to change things up from time to time because your body gets used to what you have been doing and you plateau.  By changing things and keeping them new you avoid that.  Weightlifting has some of that built-in by changing the resistance level but changing the exercises, training split and order do a lot in terms of keeping things fresh.  Keeping things challenging so you don’t get complacent is a lot of what I have learned from lifting.

The major change that will start next week is bringing back into my routines one piece of equipment – the barbell.  That means squats, bench presses, and deadlifts. I have avoided these since joining my new gym because of the hiatus before and because I wanted to make sure my body was ready with fewer aches and pains before I began.  I am ready and to be honest I need to do it.

As I look at the problem areas that remain on my body they all related to the three exercises I stated above. Those are the places where fat burn has been lowest and muscle development lightest.  Basically glutes, lower back, and chest.   It is those three missing exercises that would probably get me over the plateau I’m am on now as well and so it is time.

The other issue is walking and hiking. I don’t know but I have this image of me in retirement doing some crazy hiking. Like the United States hiking triple crown which consists of the Appalachian Trail (AT), The Continental Divide Trail (CDT) and the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT).  To do that requires a lot of training walks and shorter hikes as preparation for that.  It’s a few years down the road but I can see it in my head.

There is, of course, the issue of the Self Virtues which is to provide strength over self and provide the ability to overcome weaknesses of self.  That requires discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.  Progress doesn’t just fall out of the sky.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutrition is also a big issue, Mostly I want right now to go through my apartment and get rid of anything I am not supposed to be doing with Paleo and start right from there.  But my wife isn’t doing it and it wouldn’t be right to impose this on her although I think it would help both of us.  So mostly I am going to have to find ways to do this myself and avoid the temptations in the kitchen.

Mostly though I need to ask the question fo whether discipline can be applied to anything else in my life.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

This week has had a lot of failure and defeat, time to get up and keep trying.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I don’t know.  Fidelity is complicated.  I am now looking at who I should be loyal to in a lot of areas of my life.  I have a very few friends left because in this latest crisis my ‘friends’ scattered like cockroaches when the light is turned on. In truth, though all my relationships are getting the – ‘OK, I am loyal to you, but why’ question? I am just not sure how much I am going to like the answers.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

What is the wise thing to do?  It is my last question on each decision.  After the questions: What is the loving thing to do and what is the just thing to do? I guess there can be those moments where I still don’t have a good answer.   In the meantime, I maintain discipline, keep getting up and maintain Troth. 

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Once I find a full-time job rest days will be at a premium and this will be much more important.  I need to sit down and revise this one more. What I am seeing is that there will be a standard daily routine and a few things that either fall in the Work Day or Rest Day Routine.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!