Goals

“The Journey: Means or Destination?” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Over the last month, it seems that every discussion with family and friends turns eventually to a discussion of my future. Some of these I have started myself others have been presented to me.  No one has really yelled or pushed, but there is a concern for my welfare that is appreciated because I am not always sure about my welfare myself at times when it comes to my future.  Not that I am not concerned, it is just things seem far more difficult than I want them to be.

The issue for me is finding a new role mostly and that has me debating whether my future career is that role or is my role what needs to be defined and then what my career is will flow out of that.  It is probably for us spiritual wanderers the basic question of what is the journey? Is it a means to enlightenment or is it enlightenment itself? If it the path that is a way to points that are what brings truth and thus change or is walking on the path itself the means by which truth and change are acquired.

I have struggled with this question at times but the answer is not either-or, it is both-and.  All the questions I am trying to answer about myself right now are important.  The way I am going to find the answers is in part the points on the journey where I stop and am enlightened, but also the walking of the paths of virtue also is enlightening in and of itself.

I suppose this expresses itself in the Virtues I follow and the Principles that guide them becoming the means to the change I need in my life.  The goals and bucket list items becoming more of those points on the map where I can mark where truth and change were discovered. Both-And.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Honor is something that seems to me is a lost virtue in this world. I note how fluid people are with their beliefs on important matters and I have to wonder if it is truly a change in position over long thought which is the honorable way to do things, or simply bending to the political whims of the mob. I commit myself to do the former and not the later.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I have some items in my life right now that require courage and needed change. The question now is to act at the right time on them.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Facing the truth is difficult these days, there is far more struggle than I want to admit to ahead in my life. But I need to face the truth and act. I am coming to another time where courage and truth as paths are going to come together for a while and that is just the truth of it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

The main issue for me right now is that I feel I am loving others again but at the expense of loving myself. I keep asking the question of how much am I going to have to give up of what I want in order to make others happy and that is causing me to have flashbacks into the same emotional state I was in a couple years ago. Being both dissatisfied and restless.  I know this means I am not loving myself enough and that is going to be tough for others when I make the shift here.  The worry I have is a backlash and my personality doesn’t like backlash, but at the same time, if I don’t make some changes, I will have failed myself.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

The beginning of September marks a new round of effort on my routines. I am going to have to make some adjustments to the other two but this one is good and I simply need to be more consistent.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Virtue By Another Name” – Of Wolves and Ravens – The Higher Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion

Having finished a discussion of all the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV), we flip to Side B for “Of Wolves and Ravens” which is ten other philosophical discussions: The Higher Virtues, Eastern Philosophy, Western Philosophy, Love, Minimalism, Economics, Justice, Political Science, Libertarianism and Wisdom. The fact that I do this rotation at least twice a year is no accident as there are other philosophical guides to my life that form a significant part of my philosophy of life.  A philosophical framework, if you will.

This week is supposed to be the Higher Virtues and it still will cover them, but I want to share a discovery I made while reading Essential Asatru by Diana Paxton.  I got to the section near the end on Heathen Virtues and was excited because I was interested to see if there was anything new to discover. This, after all, was why I started gravitating toward Asatru in the first place – the NNV.   What I read as short but impactful because it introduced the simple truth that there were more than the NNV as virtues of Asatru and that there was something also called the Six Goals of Asatru.  In addition to all this, some of the NNV had other names which gave a different spin on their meaning.  While there wasn’t a lot of depth in the book, the simple statement of this was enough to get my wheels turning.

Firstly was the additional virtues that Paxton says some heathen groups have: Equality, Friendship, Strength, Generosity, Kinship, and Wisdom. Wisdom is already one of my Higher Virtues. but the other five merit some discussion.  The ideas of Friendship and Kinship are not fully explained but as I see those words I know that in large part represented by the Noble Virtue of Fidelity.  I treat my friends like family and Kin but the result is the same for all – I am loyal to those who are loyal to me.  Equality and Generosity I would say I have as background understandings of Hospitality and the Higher Virtue of Justice.

One meditation that was good was on Strength.  I could imagine the NNV forming the three strands of the higher virtues of Love, Justice, and Wisdom.  Then Those three strands forming a strong rope – Strength in a multiple-corded rope of virtue.  In a sense Strength is one of the major goals of being a person who follows a code like the NNV.

The Six Goals of Asatru I had never heard of before and it tells me that there may be things inside these Asatru Brethren groups that art taught and encouraged that don’t make it outside them very often. Not secret but not as popular with the general public.

The six goals are: Right, Wisdom, Might, Harvest, Frith (Peace) and Love.  It should be noted Love and Wisdom are already considered by me as part of my three higher virtues. Right, I have dubbed Justice. Frith is a new one for me but it means Peace both personal and community. I feel this is a worthy goal and one that would be the result of Justice, Love and Wisdom are acting their part.  Might and Strength are related. almost the same but the first refers to the strength of the community as a goal and the second personal moral strength, so there is that connection.  Harvest is an interesting one that goes very much with the Virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality.

More significant for me is that Paxton gave different names for some of the NNV that offered a different perspective on how to look at that virtue. Courage has the second name of Boldness.  Truth and Honor remained the same, but Fidelity was called Troth which is a very unique word to use and thus indicates its value to the community. Discipline is called Self-Rule, so the idea of personal sovereignty is a part of the idea of Discipline. Hospitality was the same but given some of the other virtues above it becomes very much defined more concretely with more facets. Industriousness is the same. Self-Reliance becomes independence which the goal of Self-Reliance but I can see where it is a virtue in and of itself. Perseverance becomes Steadfastness which adds as I have remarked before the virtue of standing in the midst of adversity not just getting up from failure; it shows this virtue is also a means to victory, not just a response to defeat.

There is a lot to think about here but for now, my definitions will remain the same as changing those is a soul searching decision. I may, however, look at my higher virtues and meditate on them and some of these new ones more to establish a clearer picture.

What’s the point? Some might ask, well…

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

Men need a code.  Women need a code.

I can tell you what, people should be very glad I found the NNV and started to follow it last year.  If I had not I would be a monster without a code of conduct – destructive to both others and myself. I had that ‘women suck’ moment right after the Breakup with Miss Salty and I can tell you I came very close to becoming the Wolf in both the spirit of Fenrir and the predator at that moment. Chaotic, evil and full of rage.  I can think of nothing scarier than an empath that is malevolent.

The NNV came along and also filled a need for making sense of myself and getting me some sort of focus that I needed.  Otherwise, the wolves would be loose right now and men who wronged me would be targets and women in general objects for my use. In a sense, the NNV helped me find my true self and bring the wolves into my service rather than running wild.

Wants (Freki):

A code also allows you to start focussing properly on what you want and how to properly get it. Otherwise, you have no plan and follow it to the end. Focusing on the virtues you think is important begins to retrain your brain to follow after them and how to achieve them.  This is something you want, trust me.  No greater progress in your life will be achieved until you first find out what you value.

Reason (Huginn):

Mostly though, the NNV brought me back to a reasonable meditation on life and principle. It has brought me to Asatru as a form of spirituality, but it is a rational spirituality, not one that is making shit up. It is focused on value, goals and my journey has purpose because of it.  I am not wandering lost.  I may wander, but I am not lost, I am engaged in the purposeful pursuit of virtue wherever that journey may take me.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find there is greater wisdom in the wisdom you discover for yourself than in ‘wisdom’ that is dictated to you.  No Wisdom is one size fits all, so to speak. The best wisdom is confirmed by virtue and experience combining into something that allows you to live better.  Wisdom may indeed be the highest virtue of them all, but it is also the result of living a code of virtues that you value.  For me, it started with adopting the NNV into my life.

Conclusion:

Essential Asatru has me thinking about virtue a lot since I read that section.  I am looking at it once again very holistically.  Mostly though I am glad I adopted the NNV and began to conceive them in a way that was helpful to me in a very dark time.  It allowed me to see myself as a human being again and more importantly helped me see others as human beings again.  I still have serious trust issues with my fellow humans, but it is getting better.  A lot of it has simply been about being true to myself in the full truth of following the NNV as best I can.

I leave you with Marcus Aurelius:

See the source image Still Walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Happy Sif’s Day and Some Personal and Writing Notes” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

Sif: Gold-Haired Earth Goddess

After a week’s deliberation, I decided that from henceforth, Saturn’s Day will now be Sif’s Day.  I juggled Eostre and Idun in this spot but in the end, I think Thor’s wife, goddess of the land, earth, and harvest takes Saturn’s Place the best.  Her story in Norse mythology is the one where her hair is shaved off, presumably by Loki as a prank.  Thor threatens to hurt Loki repeatedly unless he fixes the problem.  Through a complex, multilayered scheme, Loki convinces the Dwarves to create living gold hair that when Sif places it on her head attaches itself and becomes her hair.

Other than that, Sif represents the fertility of the earth.  Something that is missing from the week with the current gods and goddesses.  As Thor’s wife, the rain – earth duo is in the days now.  I rejected Idun and Eostre in the end because they already have their time of the year all to themselves in many respects.  Sif represents the constant and continual bounty of the earth in all seasons.  With Sol, we have the bright sun goddess who is a beacon of life and truth.  With Frigg, we have hearth and home.  Freya gives us a passionate woman both in love and war.   The addition of Sif gives us the hard-working woman in the field. A welcome addition.

So. Happy Sif’s Day.

Personal Notes: 

This is not a The Grey and The Wayfarer post. But after writing my four-part series of getting things off my chest so to speak, I have felt much better.  I have thought of some of these things far less and seem to be moving on better. Perhaps the Storm is breaking and some sun is shining through at last.  Time to get moving.

My job search can be a little frustrating at times. I learned recently that most Human Resources jobs want certification.  No problem accept its another few months of time and a couple thousand dollars. So crossing that off at least for now, I have focused on Business, Education, and Government.

Business – I am moving my focus from human resources to retail as I actually not only have some education there as far as management but also experience both in retail and management but never at the same time. Mostly, business is attractive because I have 15-20 years left before age and retirement will start to kick my ass and I need to make as much money and put it aside as possible in that frame of time.  At the same time, the physical labor thing is going to be less and less of an option. Retail Business Management fits given experience and education.

Education – I could go to another state and teach.  Texas would let me start and then learn the education stuff as I go.  Mostly though I would be using it as a springboard for a masters’ degree and eventual doctorate. I would want to teach at the university level.

Government – Like it or not, I am adding this to the list because my Political Science degree gives me the most qualifications for government jobs. It is what the degree is actually designed for, so it is time to add it to the list.

One of the things I have done is to rewrite my Resume again. I eliminated, as much as possible, any references to my ministry career and my education for it. They are irrelevant to the jobs listed above.  I also have been removing anything that might give away my age. My experience listed will still make me older, but I want it to be, without lying, a little nebulous.

Writing Notes:

There is, of course, my other ‘career’ as a writer which I need to get more serious about.  So here is that list:

Blog: This personal blog needs to be kept up because it is simply good practice.

Blog Fiction: Last time I wrote about some fiction ideas I had floating, but there is some other fiction on this blog already that I need to address and make the previously mentioned ideas a little more concrete.

  1. The Grey Wayfarer (Serial) – I wrote this series when I first started this blog  It was a work of fantasy fiction with the same name as the blog.  That was confusing I am sure, but the reason I stopped writing it here was a realized it had potential to be one helluva novel.  So, I leave the five parts that exist as a teaser to a someday maybe finished work. I just felt the writing was that good and so was the concept.
  2. Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury –  There is a large part of me that senses the whole Hedge Wizard of Redberg / Rogue Wizard universe and storyline needs come to a complete end. I originally started the whole thing as a labor of love for Miss Salty and now she is gone out of my life.  The continuation based on it in this blog is difficult emotionally at best to write. Spoiler: It might be time for the whole thing to die. But it will die by my own hand and not just fade away unfinished. I have been sitting on Part 10 for months because emotionally it might be the last difficult thing to write with the whole saga. After that, it is simply a matter of killing off the main character. Me.
  3. ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ (adult version) – I have toyed with the idea of taking fairy tales and giving them a modern spin many times.  It would fit my short story or short fiction series niche.  Red Riding Hood, if you know the actual origin and symbolism is already a pretty adult tale, but I want to give it an urban fantasy truly adult feel.  Little Red wouldn’t be the only one but it is my favorite fairy tale and a good place to start.
  4. Tales of a Viking Muse (working title) – I mentioned this a couple days ago.  This will be my Viking Shieldmaiden Skald Muse.  I am using Dungeons and Dragons to flesh out the character and to create the backdrop world to an extent.  She will be a combination of a fighter/bard.
  5. ‘Space Tramp’ – Basically I am taking the advanced character generation system from MegaTraveller and doing a year by year full flesh out of the background of a character.  The challenge, of course, is the random nature of the generation process which will force me to in one year explain a near-death and another year take a pretty boring admin assignment and make an interesting story of it.  The character will be a free trader crewman of the merchant branch, so it should give him the freedom to move about as he sees fit.  It should be fun.

Non-Fiction Book: My book here is basically Life of Christ, but form a skeptics’ point of view. I taught the life of Christ as a pastor and instructor in the faith probably ten times. I am simply writing what would amount to a harmony of the gospels with a twist.  I am going to show even with four accounts, the gospels still are not compelling evidence to believe that the Life of Christ as presented in the Bible is a genuine story of any more historical value than Homer’s Illiad or the Tales of Gilgamesh.

Novel: Over the last few years the successful fantasy stories have been the epic ones from Game of Thrones, to Lord of the Rings, to Wheel of Time and Sword of Truth.  I don’t mind these but I enjoy more the stories that are a little more down to earth.  Five friends from a small village heading out into the unknown and finding an adventure.  No saving the world or correcting the imbalances in the powers of magic for the universe.  Just some friends finding themselves in a tough spot and fighting to get out of it.  That’s my novel. I am thinking of using National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) to fast forward its content by 50,000 words in November.

This is a lot of writing, but good writers write a lot and I want to be a good writer. So, raise a drinking horn to the challenge of making some changes in my writing with the goal of publication and making it my second and hopefully also paying career.  What you may see over the next couple of weeks is me trying to make progress on all of this. Hopefully, my muse will come alive and something will not only click but take off.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Mirror Motivation” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Most of what involves my self goals are either exercise and/or nutrition-related and sometimes I get asked how I stay motivated.  I actually have to go back to when I was first lifting to answer that question.  I read a lot back then from the great people of fitness and you can’t do that without looking at Jack Lalanne.  Long-time fitness guru who died in his 90s, he was constantly asked how to get and stay motivated. In one interview he answered the following:

  1. Get a full-length mirror and hang it up in your bedroom or bathroom.
  2. Take off all your clothes and stand in front of that mirror and really look at your body.  Honest assessment.
  3. Look at your body and keep looking until you get mad and are motivated to do something about it if there is something that needs work and gives yourself a pat on the back for the good work you have done if it looks good.
  4. Either way, this will motivate you to continue.
  5. Do this regularly, like once every week or whenever you feel your motivation slide.

According to Jack, this was the motivation technique of himself and a good percentage of those he knew that were fitness instructors and it worked most of the time. I can believe it because it works for me. I have been doing this, I will not say consistently, but when it has been consistent my motivation never has wavered. I think the only words of caution I have ever heard about this is psychological: men tend to view themselves more positively in the mirror and women tend to be more negative.  Keep that in mind when you’re trying to make an honest assessment.

From a more spiritual point of view, viewing one’s soul in a mirror can have the same effect. Being honest with yourself and gazing at yourself in some kind fo soul mirror is beneficial. For me, it is still the same moment I am standing naked in from of a mirror trying to motivate myself, but instead, of my chest and legs, I am looking into my own eyes. The mirror to the soul is an accurate description for sure.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and text

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Discipline is the key to all my other virtues.  It is the muscle virtue that makes all the others work.  Without it, I make no progress on anything so getting back to Routine is kind of my major focus right now.

Nutritionally I need to start cutting more carbs. I have lost a lot of weight so far (70 lbs.), but my honest mirror assessment is I probably have 10 to 15. I also need to really work on the Paleo being full paleo which means finding alternatives to dairy and a few other things.

This is the only bucket list item with a specific date.  In truth it is not an act of rebellion against myself, but rather me being truly who I want to be.  It is only rebellious to society and culture so that is my thinking as I plan it.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Keep getting up.

Weightlifting needs to change in September.  I think I am ready to engage the barbell exercises again and as I look in the mirror it is those muscles that seem to lag behind.  Literally one of them is my gluts.  That’s my butt people, but also my lower back and chest could use some more work.    It’s the squats, deadlifts, and benchpress that are needed.

Walking and stretching will return simply if I follow my various Routines.

I still am trying to get the money for my first tattoo. Hopefully, the promotion to fulltime at work or a new job will do wonders for that coming together faster.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I wrote on fidelity this week so I won’t belabor the point.

This is my bucket list item with the most time, but I can get the genetics test as soon as I have the money and then I and a search site are going to get acquainted in order to find out where exactly in the world my ancestors got on the boat and came from to America.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Looking honestly in the mirror is something that has given me wisdom.  Our perspective ourselves is often skewed in our minds.  It takes the mirror reflecting back at us with us engaged in an honest assessment of what we actually see, to get aa true picture of who we are.  This is the wisdom that is found in the mirror.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

In a couple weeks, you will probably see these routines change for Work and Rest Days. I am thinking some things will be every day but with shorter time spans to get the discipline of it going again.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Reestablishing Routine” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

During the last couple of weeks, routine and the discipline that goes with them have not been good.  Mostly, I was struggling just to do what needed to be done for life, let alone doing the things that would improve it. So the rest of this week will be about getting back on the horse of Routine and making sure that they are going forward because they are the keys to stepping one step at a time closer to my goals.

I have maintained a few things and that tells me what is close to becoming a habit or is habit already.  The list there is getting up and doing the get ready for work parts, weightlifting, and blogging. Everything else fell by the wayside. That’s how bad The Grey can get me sometimes. So, I need to make sure everything is caught up and all things are in place and then get back at it.

For the record, last week’s Retrospect posts have in some ways done me good.  I still struggle but my screaming into the wind fo the Grey seems to have at least made me more focused and calm about it.  I am still haunted each day by ghosts but they seem less ‘scary’ to use that analogy.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

Independence is the word and it is a good one.  Maybe other people are not cut out for it, but I sure am ready for some.  The only challenges seem to be religious people trying to impose their religion on me, politicians who want to impose their view of how life should be on me and my society who want to impose their views of culture on me.  I think all of them get disappointed when the middle finger comes out.

A lot hinges on getting a new and better paying job, a lot of other goals become more reachable when this happens. In the meantime, my place of employment has a short term opportunity that would be a change which would be helpful in that regard. I have spent the last year basically being a grunt and that has allowed some time to heal and clear my head, but it is time to get back to doing what I do and making money at it. Management and leadership calls.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I like working, I don’t always enjoy what my job is. But the virtue and principle of Indusriousness are still pretty much intact.

My novel has a year and a half left but it has to be done by the end of the year period so I can start to see if it is publishable. I might use NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) to get it further down the line as far as being written. November is a good month for that to be honest anyway.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

Being compassionate is not difficult for me, I have long practice and experience.  I am just more cautious about who I am compassionate to and how many.

Group is still one of those things that a new job might help with.  Mostly I would like a steady consistent schedule and a place big enough to be part of one.  I could enjoy an existing group too, I am not against that, I just know the new job is going to have to be first.  Homeownership is still in front of me and also hinges on a new job.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Of course, all of this is about acting justly in all situations. To be as ‘fair’ as possible to all parties.  Not an easy task but I have learned that being just with myself is key to the rest. I know I have to do it or things will get worse.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Language Study: A half-hour on Latin
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I think a few more changes are in order here but not too many. I will see.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Purpose of Journal Posts” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I return to my journal posts this week I am redefining their purpose ever so slightly. Mostly I want to write a little more broadly on this blog and there is only so much time in the week to do so.  So I think the best course of action at this time is to journal every other week.  This will also avoid a lot of repetitious writing but at the same time, I will also still be able to keep tabs on my progress on this journey we call life.  The purpose of these journal entries is for my benefit although I have had people say my thoughts reflect their own or benefit them in some way.

Basically now one week I will engage the Overall Virtue and Principle and the alternate week I will be looking at the Bucket List and Goals.  I will, of course, make a note of a goal or bucket list item when it gets crossed off. Weeks I am not journaling I will be writing on various topics or injecting a piece of fiction or poetry. The pattern is as follows.

Week 1 – Journal Posts (Virtue and Principle Focus)

Week 2 – Open Posts

Week 3 – Journal Posts (Bucket List and Goals Focus)

Week 4 – Open Posts

Repeat. Roughly then every month, things ill get covered and I feel that will be more than adequate.

I have changed my comment settings so that if you have a previously approved comment, you no longer have to wait for approval, so comment away if you have already done so.  I don’t know I may have to approve your next comment to do so.  This opens up the comment section quite a bit and that possibility gives me a little trepidation. Just a little note, all comments that WordPress filters as Spam will be disapproved.  No, I am not interested in what you are selling or promoting.  I am interested in real people who want to truly interact.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I must say after last week’s series of The Grey and The Wayfarer, I feel much better. It was good to get some things off my chest but also down for the record. My senes of honor is definitely a little higher as I seek to move on.  Lately, I have also kind of make it a point to tell people I appreciate them when I think of it as well.

Today will be Day 316 of my blog streak for the year.  That leaves 49 more days.  I now a new pair of hiking boots so My training walks can resume.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I am making every effort to do the right thing at the right time.  Currently, I am still looking for the job I want, but I decided to take an opportunity at my current job to improve my current situation while I continue to search.  It’s been a year and just getting back to maintaining life has been good, but now it is time to improve.

I had some unexpected expenses so my tattoo fund got emptied so we are back to square one, but with the new opportunity should come the ability to get that fund back up and build it faster.  It is the easiest thing on my bucket list to cross off – getting the tattoos.  So I will continue to focus on it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Well, last week was definitely a week of being honest with myself.  Progress in that area was good and I feel that I am in a position to move forward.

This last 10 days or so have been a mess so getting back to discipline and routine is the first priority and with that comes the book writing and learning Latin.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Loving myself is a real challenge.  My last two addresses on Frigg and Freya’s Day were to the old me and the new. A lot of that was me transitioning from being a person who loves others to the expensive of himself into a person that loves themselves to the point they can love others effectively. It has been a hard lesson this past year of the consequences can be for me and others if I do not do this.  It has become imperative that I maintain love toward myself to keep walking.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

Yeah, I need to get on this again. The past ten days have been shit.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Loyal Like Sigyn” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day.  Also a Happy Birthday to my wife. 

Journal Entry:

Sigyn is the goddess of loyalty and there is only one tale that survives that shows what this means.  She is the wife of Loki and Loki’s punishment for killing the beloved god Baldur is to have a snake drop deadly venom on his forehead.  Sigyn demonstrates her loyalty to Loki by using a cup to catch those drops so they do not hit his forehead. Periodically it was said that she had to leave to dump the cup and this is when Loki would feel the venom and writhe in agony causing earthquakes.

I am not sure if Sigyn is a good or bad example of loyalty.  It is also questionable how she is loyal to – Loki or humanity.  Is she trying to prevent the suffering of Loki or humanity at the hands of the earthquakes Loki causes as he responds to the agony of the venom?  She doesn’t display loyalty to the rest of the gods as she is trying very much to interfere with the decree of Odin.  If anything this story provides a great example of how fidelity or loyalty can get pretty complicated.

What I feel is needed with fidelity/loyalty is simple – priorities of loyalty. Rules also would help.  I will probably discuss this in greater detail in my post in a few weeks in Of Wolves and Ravens when I touch on Asatru and Fidelity. My initial thoughts are to prioritize my loyalty among the list of divine, family, friends, and self. and then create those rules that create a balanced understanding.  The thing is after so many years of being loyal to others at the expense of being loyal to myself, I feel loyalty to myself needs to be first. Then Loyalty to the rest is a sort of circle of fidelity around me. There is much thought an meditation to do here yet, so I will leave it at that.

For now, the story of Sigyn inspires thought on the subject of fidelity if nothing else.  For that this one fragment of her story that survives is beneficial in that regard.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutritionally, I need to tighten things down a little and get the carbs as much as possible out fo my life again.  If there is anything I struggle with specifically it is things like bread and other common American diet things like that that are still in very limited ways part fo my diet. I am at the point where more micromanagement of my diet might be necessary to lose any more fat.  Since March of 2018, I have dropped from 348 lbs. to 280 lbs. through a combination of moving toward a more Paleo Diet, weightlifting and walking. At this point, it is simply a matter of getting more specific in the dietary aspects.  I am probably 80 % Paleo and I need to get to over 90 to 95 % with maybe a cheat meal once per week so eat things I enjoy.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I think I have become too reliant on 13-week sections of weightlifting as far as the planning.  By the 8th or 9th week it is hard to stay focused on the same routine.  I am thinking, starting next week that my programs will be two months long instead of three with automatic changes every two months instead.  This might keep things fresh. I am also thinking I ma ready to start adding in the barbell exercises again. Walking is becoming difficult as my boots are getting worn and I need to change them out.  I really need that new job soon as there is a lot of little things that are starting to pile up that need monetary attention.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I have already talked about my loyalty issues above, but the main thing is loyalty to myself.  That cannot be overemphasized. If my other relationships undercut my loyalty to me, then it is going to be hard for me to maintain them.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am trying to make wise decisions here.  What is the most loving thing to do?  What is the justest thing to do? What is the wisest thing to do? All of this focuses on myself though, because if I lose me, then all is lost.  I already know what happens when I forget myself and sacrifice everything for others.  I end up destroyed and doing very foolish things.  The wisest course will involve the most love, justice, and wisdom that is self-directed first and then to others second.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

My son and I have started a kind of two-person book club and we will be starting to read a book together.  It is a natural fit in my reading slot here.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Hospitable Like Frigg” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

Of all the Norse Goddesses, there is none more revered and honored than Frigg.  Freya has her place, but she is more of the party girl/warrior whose motto seems very much to be “if you can’t lay ’em, slay ’em”.  Frigg, by contrast, is close to hearth and home.  She is the living image of the household matriarch who rules her realms with a firm but loving hand. You don’t really think of her as a war goddess like you do with Freya, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes she doesn’t pick up sword and spear to defend hearth and home.

Hospitality is about taking some of your abundance achieved through Self-Reliance and Industriousness and using it to provide a means of refuge.  I say means of refuge rather than a home because in modern times followers of Asatru have had to find new ways of expressing hospitality. Finding ways to be a sharing person is not only in some ways more challenging given our more internet-based culture, but there are different ways to do it thanks to the same technology.

Frigg reminds me of all the women and a few men in my life who when I came over to their houses and crossed their threshold, I found myself feeling right at home.  not because they always had a lot, but simply because they were willing to share with me a relative stranger as if I was family. A lost a dying art if you ask me. One that I hope to revive in my own life.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

Still engaged in a very active job search thee days.  I just am now pretty open to the location of where I might end up.  I was accused of being picky, but that is not so much true as it is probably more difficult at my age to switch careers than anything else.  I do have a little time to be picky but mostly it is the ‘thanks for considering this position, we will get back to you” followed by a silence that is the most common thing.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

My novel is something I would enjoy reading and for the first time, I think I am on to something here. With all the epic, end of the world scenario, fantasy tales out there, it is nice to just have a group of friends on a simple adventure.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

As I look at my bucket list item and goal here, I see that the main goal is simply to create a place where people can be hospitable and enjoy the hospitality I could provide. Life needs more of these places and I simply want my home to be one.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I was reflecting on justice and mercy the other day.  I do wrestle with some of the people that wronged me.  Don’t get me wrong I have hurt people myself as far as people’s feelings, but my intentions have never been violent nor did I have a desire to take what isn’t mine to take. That was not reciprocated and mostly I have come to dislike people that use their illusion of respectability others have of them to do some dirty underhanded things, and then justify it because of the ends. For these people, forgiveness doesn’t enter the equation as I consider them.  Justice, however, does.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Language Study: A half-hour on Latin
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

Working the workday is interesting but difficult. I hope this gets easier as the memories of last summer start to fade.  If they fade.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Truthful Like Syn” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Norse Mythology has a goddess of truth – Syn.  She is the goddess of truth, watchfulness, and doorways. Doorways and thresholds are probably more significant in this culture because it let someone in your door has obligations for the guest and the host, so it was important that no one was not supposed to cross that threshold without being who they said they were.  The truth of discerning this lays in the realm of Syn’s sphere.

I suppose the analogy is a sound one.  Learning to distinguish what is true and thus should enter your thoughts both of heart and head is a noble skill and so the image of a guard at a door is a sound one when it comes to truth.  Discernment is a big part of knowing the truth from a lie.

For me, the truth has not always been an easy thing.  Everyone lies and has lied, including me.  I did a lot of lying last year to cover up an affair I was having, but in truth, I was not very good at it, because I am simply not comfortable with the emotions my lying causes me.  Being an empath means I can feel the emotions of a person I am talking to.

The problem with me and lying to someone is the emotions they are feeling because of the lie’s effect on them, don’t harmonize with my fear when I lie.  So it makes me extremely conflicted.  If Miss Salty hadn’t decided to come clean and asked me to do the same, (which was a welcome relief from my emotional struggle about it) I would have just come clean myself sooner probably more than later because of this emotional conflict. I would have come unglued I think because of the pressure of it all very quickly.  It was at the time already being very emotionally draining after only a week.

Since leaving Christianity, I have made a commitment to the truth, which was probably the hardest on others during the blog I was writing when I first left Christendom. That blog, called The Rabyd Microphone which no longer exists, was me being dangerously truthful.  It hurt others to be truthful at that level.  So my commitment to the Virtue of Truth includes now the idea of being silent in the presence of fools.  There is also an unwritten rule in that of being very careful how truth is presented so as not to hurt others.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Today’s post is 302 consecutive days of posting for The Grey Wayfarer.  The Skald’s Lyre on Saturn’s Day was 300 days.  Only 63 more to go.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

No progress here but also no regression.  Just looking at the whole tattoo thing and the act of societal rebellion as possible bucket list items to cross off.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I have to talk a deep breath here.  My book is about the truth about Christianity and The Bible.  As a Bible scholar and Theologian with degrees to prove it, it is going to be raw truth and that is going to probably hurt some people.  That said, someone like me needs to step into this arena of ideas and say their piece, and I think that someone should be me.

Higher Virtue: Love:

If there is one thing that holds over from Christianity, it is the Bible’s observation that love rejoices in the truth.  I have to admit I am a lot happier these days.  Being truthful with myself about my faith and life was the first step to that.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

I feel I really need to stay on point with the routines this week.  The worst part of the memories and the Grey Storm that goes with them is this week and I really need to stay focused on the things that make me stay focused to get through it.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Persevering Like Idun” – A Skald’s Life -Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Idun is the goddess of spring and renewal and my choice to represent Perseverance this week.  The reason is the whole notion of spring coming out of winter every year is very much a story of life continuing to persevere.  It rises out of death to live again and there is renewal.  Renewal being an example fo perseverance.

Idun also keeps the golden apples of immortality for the gods. She was kidnapped once and this caused the gods to age, she endured imprisonment until Loki rescued her.  She depicted as a beautiful woman and in its own way perseverance is very beautiful.

For myself, I can see how my continued getting up has preserved me and renewed me.  But looking at Idun I can see it has the quality of making things new and stronger.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To Be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

One thing needs to be said about my rebellious act.  There is another bucket list of a sort that I have that is unwritten.  Experiences I have denied myself because of my former faith and that is a lot of what this rebellious act is about.  Making sure I live a little.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Things going pretty smoothly here.  No worries at present.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

As I become more pagan in my mindset, heritage becomes far more important.  Knowing where I came from is pretty deep for me. It weighs more on my mind all the time.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am starting to draw a lot of wisdom from the stories in Norse Mythology. I can see why these stories endured and were told by them.  The values of the Norse/Germanic people can be plainly seen in them.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

My son and I have started a kind of two-person book club and we will be starting to read a book together.  It is a natural fit in my reading slot here.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!