Author: Ed Raby Sr

Looking for A Shieldmaiden

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Since my divorce, I have dated a handful of times. Mostly this has ended in a “Meh” from both me and the woman. While I can’t speak for the woman’s side as the only feedback I got from a couple of them was – ‘it might be too early for you Ed.” Yeah, my brain says you are probably right, but my dick says otherwise. Never been a guy for one-night stands because I have figured my empathic nature requires that I have some sort of feeling for a woman before I would have sex with her. And let’s be honest, the whole female-male thing is about sex in large part, but a long-term relationship requires a different viewpoint. My situation requires that I be having sex for good emotional/relational reasons, not just physical ones.

There are, of course, other reasons for a man and woman to be involved with each other. I would still say the time-honored and tested method of having a good stable family is nuclear, although I think others work as well. Evolution created and society recognizes this in practicality, if not vocally. My reasons for having a woman in my life in a relationship are not a long list. The qualities I am looking for are, in my opinion, feminine strengths. Even if the woke and politically correct crowd does not recognize them as such. In short, I am looking for a Shieldmaiden.

  1. Fidelity – I don’t want to worry if she has my back or not. When the world tries to come at us as a couple, I want us to go automatically back to back and the world loses. I want a woman who is strong in her feminine nature but understands that being independent is about freedom of choices. It doesn’t mean we don’t need each other.
  2. Peace – Bring my life peace. Make my dick hard, not my life and I will not make you hot and bothered, not give you tears. By carrying each other’s burdens our overall load gets lighter. When things get chaotic, we turn to each other to calm the chaos. Our home is the pale of peace and safety and we both work hard to make it so.
  3. Intimacy – It is easy to point to the sexual side of intimacy and that is very important. But I want a woman who is intimate of mind and heart as well. Where the ‘pillow talk’ matters just as much as the sex before it; conversation just as much as coitus.

I don’t think that is asking too much and it’s not a long list. I know this is something that takes time to develop, but if this is the goal and desire, I am willing to make it so.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Pagan Atheist

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Happy Thor’s Day!

I get all kinds of looks when I tell people I am a Pagan Atheist. It is interesting to watch people’s faces as their mind races to find which they should be offended, scared, or angry about – my paganism or my atheism. Truth – all this shows is they don’t have a proper perspective of either.

I am pagan as far as my ethics of following the Nine Noble Virtues, respect for those that follow them in return, respect for those who have gone before (ancestors), and I find the holidays more reflective of reality. In short, I am pagan as far as practice because of heritage and I honor what my ancestors have tried to pass down to later generations. What I don’t believe in is the supernatural, the gods, or God.

That’s where the rational atheist comes in. I don’t think faith is a virtue but a vice. People will do all kinds of dishonorable shit because of faith. Believing in something you cannot prove or when there is even proof against it is no virtue. It’s arrogance. Honor Brings humility. Faith is what leads to arrogance that you are right despite evidence to the contrary. I refuse to have faith again. I chose rather the part of rationality that desires proof and the part of paganism that searches for truth even if it is a hard truth.

I know it is a strange mix but I take what I believe to be the best of both and keep walking the path.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Yes, I Still Follow the Nine Noble Virtues

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Happy Odin’s Day!

I still follow the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV). I feel that following a system or code of virtue is far more valuable than following a religion or spiritualism because the results are far more tangible. Real-world application to life is far more important to me than it used to be when I was religious. Application to every day is what matters. The NNV provide that, as they transcend religions and theoretical philosophies. Simply put, they work.

Every Virtue has a real-world expression. They also combine to provide different expressions. Industriousness needs courage at times to lead to success as one faces risk while working at something with a good attitude about work. Can anyone not see the connection between honor and truth? For me, by following the NNV I end up with a life that expresses itself with love, justice, and wisdom. Qualities that no decent person should fault anyone for.

I simply remind everyone who reads this blog that much of what it means to me to be The Grey Wayfarer is to follow this philosophy – the Nine Nobel Virtues. It is something that guides my decisions and thoughts and I will write on it fairly often.

Thanks for stopping by.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Poem – “Dried Salt”

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Happy Tyr’s Day!

“Dried Salt” – by Ed Raby, Sr.

My tears have dried

Dried salt on my face.

Once your salt gave me joy

But now the savor has ended

All that remains is your salt on my cheeks

Memories of pain and sorrow traced in saline.

Joy, Happiness, Anger, Sadness, Loss, Grief

My tears tell the story of my life.

A history written in briny lines.

I long now for new salt on my cheeks

Where fresh wetness returns made of Joy and Happiness

If only the memories of your dried salt would fade

Writer’s Commentary: I said yesterday that my muse of grief and loss from Miss Salty seemed to have dried up and this is mostly true I still have a weakness for every girl I have loved in my life so that weakness for her remains. True for even my first love and my ex-wife. I care about them all and all of them have caused tears. I suppose my love for all of them will never completely fade away. But only one of them got the name Miss Salty as a nickname.

I guess my problem is that my desire for a woman in my life is one that gives me peace and intimacy. Life is turmoil and cold so you want the home to be the opposite of that. The woman in your life as a man should bring peace and intimacy. It’s all I really want.

Poetry is hard for me still because it was Miss Salty who taught me the core of it and how to express myself so It seems every time that tinge will be there of sadness. Wondering what my poems would look like if there was joy behind that relationship instead of loss and sadness.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Grey and the Wayfarer – Time to Take a Walk

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Happy Mani’s Day!!!

I have been away for a while and I can’t say that after looking at my excuses for not writing that they are good ones. I will only say that I have been keeping my life on the grindstone and The Grey is a motherfucker. This issue is that a lot of major changes were taking place and; to be blunt, my muse was running out of steam, and I didn’t have a new one.

The Changes in my life were that I pretty much started proclaiming that I am an atheist (a pagan one as far as ethics) but also after 32 years my wife and I decided to part ways. I am not going to go too much into it, but the result was me putting all my worldly possessions in my Jeep Patriot and riding away on July 30 to Texas to take a teaching job in a Houston Area high school teaching social studies. I have actually found a good replacement for what I lost as a pastor, but also I can now at the end of the day leave work at work and start enjoying life. My only real battles are usually homesickness, loneliness, and depression (The Grey).

My Muse for a long time was the grief of lost love over those people who have read this blog known as Miss Salty. It’s not so much that I don’t look at my heart in that pot and don’t find a scar and a little pain. Time heals but it doesn’t heal everything. That said, the fuel that grief gave me for my writing seems to have dried up. It always seems that I need the feminine to write and I’ve struggled to know what to write about.

A little while ago though I realized that one of my coping mechanisms against The Grey is writing. I don’t; cope well when my feelings are not being written down and No matter how I try to a journal offline, it doesn’t work. It’s the notion of public consumption that makes it feel like sharing with someone else. That’s the motivation.

I don’t know what the future holds other than I have made the commitment to start writing every day again. It might be a journal entry like this one, a short story, or a poem or something. The main thing is to write and thus start taking a walk again into my feelings and thoughts. I am also going to keep these short, so that’s all for today.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Circle Routine Focused on Progress” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

The real problem is now how to take four simple goals and make daily progress on the whole thing.  This has in the past always come down to routine. In his case through the idea is to do the routine with reward at regular steps so it is a little different.  No workday or rest day routine here.  The only difference between a workday and a off day will be that I should accomplish more on my off days simply because I have more time. 

The way it works is cyclical working though the routine and then starting over when it is completed.  What keeps it moving is the time or more concrete goal for each step when it is done to move on to the next thing. My priority starts with health, then career, then writing, then my YouTube channel, the rinse and repeat.

  1. Full Body Stretch / Meditation – Max – once per day.
  2. Walking – 30 minutes – conditional good weather, trails are clear. Max once per day.
  3. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  4. Certification Work – 3 hours.
  5. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  6. Blog Article – write, edit, post – Max four times a week. Posting will be spread out across the week but I will probably write a post on that very soon.
  7. Read 1 chapter of a book.
  8. Write 1000 words.
  9. Relaxing – 1 hour
  10. YouTube Skills development – 2 hours.
  11. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  12. Personal Business – empty inboxs.

There are a couple things that will interrupt this routine because they are conditional to the situation. The routine goes to pause and after they get done, it starts back up again.

  1. Weightlifting – after work when I know I have time to do it and get home in time enough to hand the car off to the wife.
  2. YouTube recording – three times a week but I need no one to be home but me.
  3. Work – when I am at work the routine goes to pause mode.

The routine stops when I go to bed and starts where it left off when I get up. 

A note on nutrition. This is an all day every day issue so doesn’t fit in a routine.

Life intrudes (appointments, life events) with things that will pause this as well. The main thing is to get back at it as soon as possible.

Relaxing time can be banked.  That is saved for later.  I doubt this will happen much, but if I a making progress and enjoying that, I might skip a relax time and save it for later to be taken when I want.

I am coming up on my 52nd birthday. March traditionally has been a good start for me because of it.  Last year I was off to a great start and then COVID killed a lot of things for me.  Not this year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Freeing Myself” – The Grey and the Wayfarer

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

It been a long time, but long overdue. Here I am writing. This year has been very hard from “The Grey” point of view. I have been existing without any real purpose and I am finally getting sick of it. The boredom and loneliness have been pretty much the cause of me shelling up. COVID be damned because I still could do a lot of things right now – writing among them.

It’s the whole damn situation again that bothers me.

I miss dreaming of a better future and then going out and achieving it. I haven’t achieved anything I really wanted this year and it sucks. I am not sure what is causing what at this point – Is the Grey causing my lack of ambition or is it the other way around.  All I know is it is a vicious cycle for me.

I want the picture above. A man who has wandered long, fought his way to the shore and now gets to look at the view. Blood on axe and exhausted.  But feeling incredibly wonderful because he has written a new chapter in his story and it is a good one.

I haven’t been inspired by anything going on right now to dream, to have vision and that needs to stop.  The Wayfarer has spent
far too much time in this place. I have gotten comfortable with mediocrity.  Time to move on and start getting somewhere.

A large part of that is this Blog.  Probably the greatest testimony to my problem is this blog’s absolute silence for roughly the last
year. The occasional half-hearted attempt but nothing that lasts.  

I need to move and to do that I need to keep it simple. Some basics to work on and build on.

1.      Need to finish my certification for the career opportunity I have in front of me.  I just haven’t been inspired by anything
about it until now – That happy thought that will make me fly? – Freedom.  Living Free. And this career is the means.

2.      I need to write, read and blog as much as possible.

3.      I need to get my nutrition, lifting and walking back online.

4.      I need to work on my Youtube channel and make it better.

That’s it.  Nothing fancy to clog up the works, just get moving.  I don’t have time for it.  I just need to move.

I return.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Looking to the Future

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s’s Day!!!

So after a couple days of searching through the things I need to do, and establishing some vision for my life. I hae identified some habits I want to form. So I want to list them here and then prioritize them.

Habits That Need to be Formed:

  1. Nutriton back to either Paleo or Keto.
  2. Weightlifting after work every day.
  3. Read a book every two weeks.
  4. Blog every other day.
  5. Write 1000 words every day.
  6. Learn something new every two weeks aobut making better YouTube Videos and apply that knowledge.
  7. Work on certificaiton process for new career 1 hour a day.
  8. Walk every day for half hour. (weather permiting).
  9. Find New Hobby (science based) and dedicate time and resources as able.

Specific to This Blog:

  1. Make list of regualr posts.
  2. Write rough draft first day, edit and post next day.

Over the next couple weeks I will working out the details of each of these. I am going a couple days for each for sure working out the details. It may be some time before this blog goes full on again but wanted to get this part of the planning process set in digital ink.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

It Worked! – Some Intitial Plans

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!!!

So the switch in address worked and so I can post to Facebook again. What this does inspire me to do is break down some objectives and start setting some vision for myself. I have four, maybe five areas, of my life that need some work and development of habits to reach and I am hoping this blog will do what it has always done – keep me on task and focused.

  1. Career – The issue is for me putting my Poltical Science degree and my desire to be more educaitonally focused into practice. From a habit standpoint, I have a certificaiton that was delayed due to COVID-19 issues but now I need ot finish it by February so that I can be in a postion to look for new jobs early on. The habit is simply to get some things done every day. That’s all I feel comfortable sharing as recent events show to me my haters are still active.
  2. Health – Need to get back to weightlifitng and nutrition being solid. Going ot the gym and keep the bad food out of the house are good first objectives. My main goal is to get back ot where I was early 2020 and then go from there. Once the weather clears up around here- walking and hiking will be back on my list as well.
  3. Atheist Activism – My YouTube channel is a start but writing and being invovled with other things will lead ot other opportunities. Just need to do some things so my channel is better and more active.
  4. Writing – easist one to see. Need to read more, write more and blog more.
  5. Technical Hobby – this is a new one and still in its infancy as far as an idea. I want a hobby that invovles something technical or scientific – mostly just ot push my mind a little.

All in all the issue is ot get back ot regular habits that keep depression away and make progress on these areas.

As for this blog I am working on a regular rotation along with some posts that are more freestyle so to speak. The one thing I want for sure is to keep them shorter. A blog article from start to finish should take less than an hour from sitting down until ready to post.

Thanks to all of you for sticking with me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer – Upgraded

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!!!

In some ways this is a test post, but in truth, I am also going to announce a few things that I hope will work. For roughly a half a year now I have wrestled with two things concerning this blog: 1) That someone banned it from Facebook for being ‘abusive’ and 2) What to do about it? My hope is that I have solved the problem.

Not that Facebook has contacted me or anything about it but rather I have tried ot contact them about it for quite some time with no results. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and change the URL. You will still see when you arive here that it is still thegreywayfarer.wordpress.com but I decided ot purchase the domain name so it is simply thegreywayfarer.com now. Hopefully I can post to Facebook again with this address, and to allow me further advantages, I have also purchased the personal plan here on WordPress so I will be able ot do some other thigns as well.

Now before all you joniour detectives go running about there are a few suspects I already have in mind and I can’t do anything about it. The problem with Facebook pages is that you really can’t block someone specifically from following you or reporting you. Why, if they didn’t like what i was writing didin;t they just unfollow? Well. some of my haters are probably dedicated to making my life as hard as possible. The other couple suspects are simply people personally invovled with me in the past and may now just not want ot deal with it at all. Possible a person form my former church but I am not going to write about that much at all as my new pulpit is The Rabyd Atheist my YouTube Channel. In large part, I have put them and their self-rightous nonsense behind me. Regardless, this blog is my baby and I am not going to go down without a fight.

That said I am going to reduce what I talk about here. I want to coninue to use it as personal journal of sorts regarding my goals and vision for my life. I also want ot use it to continue to use it to discuss the Nine Noble Virtues and perhaps do a little fiction writing to keep my creative juices flowing. I am not so much interested in using this as a platform for my personal life anymore, so much as keeping focused and engaging in a some creativity. It should be noted that obsticles to my goal will still be discussed and that includes my long running battle with The Grey or as it is more commonly known – depression.

Hopefully this post goes through to Facebook and problem solved unless that person also decided to get this one blocked as well. To that person, why don’t you just stop following the page and go on with your life? I am trying my best to do so and so should you.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!